The key facts
- Nechaeva: attempts to convince that everything is fine increase resistance
- It is important to listen without taking on the role of rescuer or judge
- Kandarina: divorces most often occur at ages 35–40, frequently due to a midlife crisis
Advice from a crisis psychologist
Head of the Institute of Integrative Psychology, crisis psychologist Yevgenia Nechaeva, in a conversation with the newspaper Izvestia, explained how to support a loved one going through a midlife crisis. According to her, during this period a person's perception of their own life changes: what used to be satisfying begins to irritate and lose meaning. Interest in work, hobbies, and socializing may disappear, and the person becomes irritable and withdrawn.
What not to do
'One of the most common mistakes made by loved ones is trying to convince the person that everything is fine. They remind him of family, work, and other circumstances that are supposed to bring satisfaction. This can only strengthen resistance,' Nechaeva emphasized.
How to support properly
According to the specialist, first of all it is important to give the loved one the opportunity to talk calmly and sort through their feelings on their own. It is recommended to clarify what exactly is happening to the person, what they are lacking, and what they would like to change. At the same time, personal boundaries must be respected: do not take responsibility for another person's decisions, but show willingness to support — this helps avoid the role of rescuer or judge. Nechaeva also advises staying close, not blaming and not rescuing from every consequence of decisions, but also not being indifferent, helping to find answers to pressing questions while respecting the person's choices and one's own boundaries.
Context on divorces
Earlier, psychologist Yulia Kandarina said that spouses most often divorce at ages 35–40, and the cause of mass breakups is often a midlife crisis. According to her, during this period a marriage is often held together by care for children, for whose sake partners endure accumulated problems in the relationship. Also earlier, the expert explained the phenomenon of the 'postponed life' after age 45.
