The key facts

  • In 2008 Richard Jackson left two top secret papers on a train; the documents ended up at the BBC and the story became the day's leading news
  • The Cabinet Office classified the incident as gross misconduct and demoted him three grades; a court fined him £2,500 under the Official Secrets Act
  • Jackson says he experienced suicidal thoughts and calls his wife Maddy and loved ones those who 'fixed him'; he now runs the coaching company NewDay

A life-changing mistake

In 2008, 37-year-old Richard Jackson, who lived in Yateley in Hampshire with his wife Maddy and stepdaughters, was on secondment from the Ministry of Defence to the Cabinet Office working on global terrorism, processing intelligence from GCHQ, MI5 and MI6. One evening he took a stack of secondment paperwork home from work and at home discovered two top secret papers among them. Instead of calling the Cabinet Office and asking for the documents to be securely collected, he says, out of 'self-preservation' he decided to return them himself and put them in a bright orange folder.

The loss and the exposure

The next morning on the train he kept telling himself 'don't forget the folder', but after getting off at Whitehall he realised he had left it in the carriage. He rushed around every station where the train stopped — no one had handed the folder in. The following day it emerged that the documents had been found and passed to the BBC. Jackson says he first felt relief that the papers were safe, and then realised the story would become public: that evening he was the lead story on the six o'clock news, and the civil service suspended him pending an investigation.

Crisis and punishment

Jackson hid at home; one day at lunchtime his wife found him crying on the sofa. He admitted he had spent the whole morning searching for 'a painless way to die', and believes the conversation with his wife that day was the turning point. The Cabinet Office classified what happened as gross misconduct and demoted him three grades. He was charged under the Official Secrets Act, avoided prison and was fined £2,500.

Recovery and a new job

Jackson credits his loved ones with his return to life: 'I fixed very little myself. Many people fixed me.' He returned to the Ministry of Defence in an HR role, worked at the Department for Culture, Media and Sport on the Olympics, then left the civil service, worked at Samaritans, led a team of analysts on global terrorist risks and simultaneously trained as a coach. After being made redundant he founded NewDay, a company helping people cope with stress from working with distressing material.

Lessons and advice

Jackson shares the steps that helped him: talking things through and writing thoughts down, keeping up enjoyable activities, keeping an 'evidence board' of achievements and kind words, finding a 'critical friend', separating what can be fixed from what one should not take responsibility for, and not confusing the worst moment with the story of one's whole life. He says he has still not forgiven himself, but is happy again: he no longer works 100-hour weeks, and his life 'is not defined by his career'. His story was featured on the BBC Radio 4 podcast Life Changing on 21 October 2026.

Richard Jackson with a beard and short hair wearing a navy blue hoodie with you are enough written on it in white. He has a neutral expression and there is a fence and foilage behind him.Image source, Maddie Birch-Jackson
Image caption,

Former civil servant Richard Jackson made headlines in 2008 when he left top secret files on a train

A professional photograph of Richard Jackon and wife Maddie looking happy at a family occasion. He is standing behind Maddie with his hands around her waist and the side of his face against her forehead. He is wearing a white and blue floral shirt and dark waistcoat and she is wearing a blue and white floral dress. They are smiling with a wooden gate, fields and trees behind them.Image source, Simon Gilbert
Image caption,

Richard credits wife Maddie for helping him recover from the worst mistake of his life

A selfie of Charlotte and Becky holding cocktails and looking happy at a family special occasion. Charlotte is on the left, in a black top with white spots, Becky is on the right in a floral dress and she is taking the selfieImage source, Becky Birch
Image caption,

Richard says he feels lucky to have magical people like stepdaughters Charlotte and Becky in his life

A pin board of four coloured post-it notes in a square with hand writing on them. The pink post it on the top left says: 'You are currently my hero/saviour. The speech went really well. I was the least nervous I have ever been doing something like that.' The yellow post it on the top right says: 'Rarely have a conversation with you where I don't leave without having a better understanding of what I think and what I need to do.' The pink post it note on the bottom left says: 'Lovely really positive testimonial from former colleague 'any team looking to build resilience and strength would come out better from interacting with Richard.' The yellow post it on the bottom right says former client booked for another series of coaching.Image source, Richard Jackson
Image caption,

Richard keeps an evidence board of things he has achieved and kind things people have said to help him remember his success and worth