The key facts
- Lawyer-mediator Ilya Komarov advises agreeing on a visitation schedule in advance and putting it in writing
- Under Article 57 of the Family Code, from the age of ten the child's opinion must be taken into account unless it contradicts their interests
- Lawyer Diana Mangutova previously recommended, in case of conflict, turning to the guardianship authorities or the court and documenting violations
A visitation schedule as a way to reduce conflicts
After a divorce, parents should agree in advance on a schedule of visits with the child, taking into account the child's age, activities and personal wishes, and should not use children as a tool of pressure on the former spouse. This was stated in a comment to Life.ru by lawyer-mediator and arbitrator Ilya Komarov. According to him, the parents' task is to reach an agreement in such a way that the child feels safe, rather than being 'a link in tense negotiations'.
The child's opinion and parental responsibility
When drawing up the schedule, Komarov recommends listening to the child themselves: Article 57 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation enshrines the child's right to express an opinion on matters affecting their interests, and from the age of ten this opinion must be taken into account unless it contradicts the interests of the minor. Discussing convenient times for visits is also useful with younger children — for example, whether it is more comfortable for them to see the second parent on weekends or on weekdays. The lawyer emphasized that communication with the child is not only the right of the parent living separately, but also part of their responsibility: care does not come down to paying child support, and visits should be systematic rather than happening solely at the adult's discretion.
How to negotiate and what to include in the agreement
So that agreeing on the schedule does not turn into a quarrel, Komarov advises keeping mutual grievances, financial claims and memories of past conflicts out of the negotiations and discussing specific terms — for example, picking up the child near the school at 6:00 pm. He recommends planning holidays, vacations and joint trips two to four weeks in advance, and for unforeseen circumstances proposing a rule such as 'notification 24 hours in advance via Telegram, confirmation within 2 hours'. The lawyer advises putting all agreements in writing: specifying the days and hours of visits, the procedure for distributing vacations, the place of handover of the child, the rules for rescheduling, actions in case of force majeure, communication channels and notification deadlines. 'It is impossible to provide for everything. The purpose of the agreement is to reduce uncertainty and give a clear point of reference, not to become a reason for new disputes,' Komarov explained. If the spouses cannot calmly discuss the terms, he recommends turning to a mediator.
What to do if an agreement cannot be reached
The practical side of the conflict was previously examined by lawyer Diana Mangutova: according to her, if it is impossible to reach an agreement, one can turn to the guardianship authorities, the juvenile affairs unit or the court, while keeping correspondence, documenting missed visits and collecting evidence of violations. She also noted that an ordinary written agreement on communication, even if notarized, is not an enforcement document, and suggested considering a notarized mediation agreement, which, provided the legal requirements are met, may have the force of an enforcement document. Thus, the recommendations of the two lawyers complement each other: Komarov describes how to build a schedule and reduce the number of conflicts, while Mangutova explains which mechanisms remain if an agreement still could not be reached.
